Spectre of the Self (Ghosts)
I am lonely queer 21 year-old lesbian woman. Burgeoning upon adulthood and love, I feel transient and weightless as to what my place is in the world. I take my self-perception from the perception of my peers and the value I provide for them in a commodified service, as if relationships were transactional under American capitalism.
Spectre of the Self is my personal grappling with anxiety over my lack of developed self and dualistically fretting over my social perception. It also comments upon how queer women navigate through life -- making themselves formless apparitions, silent and practically unseen for both their own safety and to their own detriment with a lack of connection. While taking these photos on a self-timer, I was mocked, belittled, laughed at, and had photos taken of me without my consent by passerby who actively served to ostracize me from normality. This experience further sordidly added nuanced connotative meaning to the project.
Please click on images to view in full-screen with their titles.
First Dance at the Ball.
Caught in the Brambles.
I Paced... and Turned Myself Into Knots.
I Waited By The Train But You Never Showed Up.
A Tea Party For Ghosts.
Shadowed Imprints.
Emergency!!
Midnight Walk.
Stopped By Your House to See If You Were Home.
In the Doghouse.
Feeding The Chickens and Also My Soul.
We Three Weird Sisters.
Silent, Crouching, Hidden.
Dropped Off a Gift.
Pacing The Steps Of Your Door.
Frozen In Place.
Morning Calisthenics (Or, So I Can Look Good For You).
Pavillion of Death.
Waiting at the River Styx.
Haunted.
What Remains.
Moving.
